Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
