she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
