it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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