I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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