There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
