Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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