i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
