You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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