I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We named our party play list daddy issues
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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