Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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