Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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