So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
