Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
