Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
