Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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