I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize