So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
