Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
