Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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