Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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