Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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