i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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