so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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