Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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