where am i from again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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