I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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