Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What drink are we having for lunch?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
