rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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