I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
