Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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