She announced her abortion via fbk
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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