...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
