My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
nutella sex= disaster
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
