Sry I called you an 8
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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