Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
