I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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