You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
