My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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