Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
