Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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