Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize