i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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