Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize