In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
