He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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