You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
