Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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