i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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