He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
