when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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