he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
