She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
