when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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