I didn't shave. On purpose
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
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I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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