i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
